"Mom WATCH!"

My cuties... who I can't stop watching

The first day of kindergarten is lurking over my shoulder like an ominous storm cloud. My anxiety is rising and my kids just won't stop. They won't stop getting bigger, smarter, and more independent.  All things to be more than thankful for- I know. But at this rate, things just keep changing too fast and I can't handle it. Matthew is learning to sit, and today got onto his hands and knees.  NonaJane is continually developing longer sentences, using bigger words, and getting prettier by the day.

A miniature ninja turtle

sitting?!

and LOOK at that face? Beautiful! but definitely not a baby anymore

And then Jack. Jack is learning how to do everything himself, and needing me less and less. For example, Jack can open/shut the car door AND buckle/unbuckle himself. In all honesty this is a HUGE relief for me. It was only a few months ago that I was angrily yelling at him to "TRY! Jack, please just try to buckle yourself so I don't have to climb back here and do it!"  I literally was angrily yelling at him to hurry up and grow up (because it is quite awkward to squeeze myself between two car seats to reach him in the third row).  And he listened. He did grow up, right before my eyes, and in response to MY demand.  He also dresses himself now, which I know most kids his age have been doing for years. But MY Jack never did.  He had no interest in what he wore, or whether or not he ever got dressed.  Underwear was fine attire for the day. Thus if we were going anywhere I would literally have to dress him (the same way I had since he was a baby.  "lift your leg, push your arm thru... etc. etc."  Now I can just say "Jack, go get dressed!" (mind you I still have to say it 10 times...). He can also make himself his own sandwich for lunch, rides his bike without training wheels, tie shoe laces, and can read most signs and books for himself if you ask him to.
Do you see what I mean? He could move out at the end of the week.

OR, maybe not.

this little guy doesn't even need me! Just floating away...

We went to the Paola pool this weekend. His friend Grace was jumping off the diving boards.  With great excitement he announced "I want to do THAT!"  I don't usually get too overprotective, but I honestly wasn't sure he could swim well enough to try this.  Adam was there though, and he seemed confident that Jack would be fine.  

Jack opening his own back account. With his OWN money from his WORK

Jack climbed that ladder with such confidence.  He strongly strode to the end of the board, gave us two thumbs up and did his PROUD dance.  (You have to really know Jack to know his proud dance.  But nothing in the world is better than the smile and joy he exudes when proud.  So proud that it makes him burst into dance.)  He promptly jumped, and without struggle he bounced to the surface.
 He kicked and bobbed
and swam right to the edge.  All I could imagine was his little 5 year old body suspended over 12 feet of water- deep water that I have spent 5 years protecting him from. This deep water is now his playground.  Before we knew it, he was climbing the ladder to the HIGH dive.  Adam and I were confident that he would NOT jump.  I mean, this is the kid that won't get on a kiddie ride for any amount of bribery.  But he did it.  He conquered it. And then he did it again. 

He was so excited that I took him and NonaJane back to the pool today.  Jack's learning curve was off the charts as he was no longer doggy paddling, but now swimming underwater, using a freestyle stroke, and even talking to me while swimming across the deep water.  He was doing well enough that NonaJane and I went back over to the shallow end so she could enjoy the froggy slide.  As I played with NonaJane and watched Jack in the distance, my heart began to hurt a little. Or a lot.  My little boy was jumping off the diving boards, talking, dancing, and playing with the other kids in line.  Trusting the lifeguard to keep him safe instead of ME.  But as if he knew my heart was hurting, he yelled out to me across the pool from the end of the diving board "MOM! WATCH ME!!!"  he did his proud dance, two thumbs up, and then a spinning twist off the diving board.  My little boy still wanted me, and NEEDED me to watch him.  He came running down to the shallow end, jumped in next to me and said "I was getting lonely down there without you."  If only he knew, his Momma's heart was the one hurting- and as usual, he has a way of making my heart absolutely explode.  NonaJane, Jack and I had a blast at the pool. NJ loves to jump off the edge to me, and of course wants me to "WATCH" with every move she makes.  So "WATCH!" I will.  I'm going to try to watch and love every little jump and splash they make.  For as long as they are excited to show me.