ugh… pregnancy

Me in my usual spot (the couch) and a very BORED little boy

I forgot to add a picture of the new carpet, what better time than now?

Pregnancy, particularly early pregnancy, makes me weird.  Really weird.  I go from being an active, energetic, go-go-go person to a lazy, distracted, inefficient, sickly person. I let my kids eat granola bars for a meal, I leave crap all over the floor, and I let the dust build up on the furniture. But I pride myself in the fact that the laundry is still getting done, and I'm keeping the bathrooms clean (because I had to draw a line somewhere!) A few weeks ago I literally laid on the couch and watched a marathon of dumb movies (Stuck on You, Bubble Boy, rounded out by Dumb and Dumber) all while chowing down on a bag of Cheetos.  The same person, who in my normal state, would never have the patience to sit and watch a movie (particularly such dumb ones) nor would I ever 'chow down' on a bag of Cheetos. But I'll tell you what, eating those Cheetos made me feel the best I had felt all day. I don't know if it was the chemicals, the food dyes, or what… but my body said "Yes PLEASE!"   I miss my old self. Really I do. Adam misses the old me to.  He makes little comments like "I miss coming home to a clean house" and "So… what exactly did you DO today??" with an awkward smile.  But I'm tired, and I don't feel good.  Headaches, nausea, fatigue, body aches, etc. etc.  Heck, I ate a quarter of a sheet cake on my Birthday (wait… I would do that anytime.  In fact, I would have inhaled more than a quarter if there had been more cake to inhale.  It's one of my character flaws that I have taken in stride. But that is neither here nor there :)  BUT I have been pregnant before, and I know I will break free of this pregnancy fog, stupor, whatever you want to call it somewhere in the next month or so.  I will mysteriously regain my energy, regain control of my food intake and return to my 'normal' diet. (except for the occasional sheet cake.)  I definitely think surviving three pregnancies will feel like a badge of honor to me.  I'm really not sure how other women can report they feel "great" while pregnant. Nothing about being exhausted, sick, and fat feels great.  Adam tried to remind me how miserable I was the first two times, but my gut and my dreams got the best of me.  What is a few months of misery for another little life anyways?  A bundle of joy? A child of excitement and wonder?  At least that is what I keep trying to remind myself as the day in and day out of BLAH starts to wear on me.  I also find myself frequently reminded of what a miracle pregnancy is.  And that this will be the LAST time I experience this. Trying to enjoy every moment, every experience (which is insurmountably hard when pregnancy feels like this). Despite my griping, I have not forgot what a blessing a healthy baby is.  How fragile, delicate, and precious the process of pregnancy can be.

back at 10 weeks... sporting the beer belly look

So if you have been around me in the past 14 weeks, or have to deal with me over the next month or so.. I am sorry about my pregnancy stupor.  I apologize for being lazy, grouchy, unorganized, and not myself.  
Sincerely,
My pregnant Self