Not knowing the plan, and kind of loving it

Adam and I were talking. Both the kids were asleep, and we found ourselves delving into a deep conversation which does NOT happen nearly as often as it should! It's mostly my fault.  I'm usually too tired and head to bed shortly after the kids do, or am too wrapped up into household chores (which feel like critical issues at the time).  But last night we talked for hours.  It was refreshing, and reassuring.  Realizing it's been almost 6 years of marriage, taking stock of all that has happened, and realizing just how much we are still on the same page.  Reminiscing about the first time we met, and suddenly it DID seem like it was 6 years ago!


We talked about our pride and amazement for our son Jack.  How we dreamed about having a son, and then Jack Wilder came along. He exceeded, no, he blew our dreams out of the water.  We can not believe who he is, what he can do, and how big his heart is.  Could God have made a more beautiful, loving, intelligent, and talented little boy? We think not.  We realized that whenever we talk about our son, our hearts overwhelm us with pride and we can't help but  brag about his astonishing abilities.  And now he is getting older. 4 years old already.  Yesterday Jack and I went to the grocery store by ourselves, and he asked to be carried into the store.  I carried him with joy and pride with his arms wrapped around my neck.  In the back of my mind I thought "I bet people are looking at us thinking- 'why is that woman carrying that big boy?' "  And my heart felt a crack.  But I carried him on because I could.  I love that Jack loves to be held, cuddled and carried.  I hate that those days are numbered.

Then Adam and I both broke into ridiculously huge grins. Our NonaJane. I can't mention her name to another person without breaking into this stupid grin.  NonaJane fills my life with laughter. She likes to enter with the element of shock and surprise. Her natural sense of adventure is overwhelming, and I KNOW that our future with NonaJane will be full of endless blog posts. A future of the unexpected, the type of memories that make life beautiful. She keeps us on our toes, and forcefully pulls me out of my comfort zone.  She is SMART. She is DETERMINED. Her personality is all consuming.  I don't know what to expect with NonaJane, I can't see what her future holds, because I already know that she will not let us mold her or determine which path she will take.  I think I had just better grab hold of her reigns and hold on tight.  It's going to be  a wild ride. One I would like to direct and control... but yea right, I can't even keep her off the kitchen table.

I do know the future with Jack and NonaJane will bring amazing moments and beautiful adventures, but I can't help but realize my babies are slipping away. Thus I wonder... will there, could there, should there, be one more baby in store for our family?

Adam Paul, I'm so glad we are in this adventure together.  I'm so glad you are my leading man. I don't know what our next chapter will be, BUT, I'm finally at a point in my life where I am beginning to appreciate the unknown.  I am content to take a step into tomorrow not knowing the title, not knowing the exact plan.  Let's not always take the straight and wide path. Thank you for helping me to be adventurous, thank you for filling my life with LOVE.