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Thursday, August 27, 2015

That Went Fast

Jack fearlessly running off... taking his first step onto the school bus. 
"That went fast," said Adam innocently enough.

 THAT went fast. That WENT fast.  That went FAST.

It was like a bad song stuck in my head.  A deafening roar of the same phrase being repeated over and over again in my head. It was as if every person who had ever told me "enjoy it, it goes fast" was suddenly right here with me screaming it at me.
And it went fast.  Jack took his first step onto that school bus and was off.  Adam, myself, Nona and Matthew sat in the golf cart in silence. Staring off into the empty highway where the bus had just been sitting.  A feeling of emptiness crept over me, a sense of shock- as if we weren't expecting what had just happened.  He was really off on a school bus, by himself.  I didn't feel like I had permission to cry though, it was a happy day for our Jack.  We put on a smile and headed back up to the house, just the 4 of us.


The weekend before school- headed to a casting call
(which he ended up landing the role!)



But then I did cry.  I felt like a cartoon character where the water fills up in your eyes like a swimming pool, and then the tears manage to sneak out and roll down your cheeks.  ...  I was going to miss him, and not just right now in this moment.  I mean I am going to MISS having my baby Jack. My toddler Jack. My preschooler Jack. I'm not sure I am ready for school age Jack, and all the responsibilities that come with being a school Mom!
Checking out Jack's classroom
Swinging at Meagan's house
But I turned my attention to my work day, and turned my sadness into anxiousness- anticipation of hearing about his day when I get off work.  I watched the clock and wondered what he was doing.
After school Jack did not disappoint. He happily answered every nosey question I had with gusto.  Then I turned to NonaJane and said "did you MISS your brother?!"  and in true NonaJane fashion, knowing how to get a laugh and lighten the mood- she replied with a mischievous smirk and a devious look to her eye "NoooopE!!!"  "I had the i-pad ALL to MYSELF!"   Sure enough, I asked Adam how NonaJane's day went without Jack, he reported he hardly heard a peep out of her. She spent the day in the playroom busily playing with her toys and the iPad- totally un-interrupted.
 
Matthew also did not want to be out-shined this week.  He decided he would start crawling at 6 months and 3 days old.  Officially our youngest crawler! He also got his first tooth this week!




















We went to the grocery store and he sat in the cart like a big kid... he seemed a bit worried- perhaps it was my cart driving? No, probably his sister who was hugging his head thru the whole store.

Shopping while Jack is at school just wouldn't feel right.  Wouldn't want anything to be too easy around here!
Matthew is thinking "what are you doing with my toy?"
already pulling himself up to climb into things
Well a week or two of school have gone by now, and somehow this blog never got posted... I'm still missing my Jack, but am thankful for his school and teacher.  Jack comes home with a spark in his eye every afternoon. His days are full of adventure and novelty, and he is loving every bit of it.  While I continue to mourn the change in our worlds, exciting things are happening at home for Nona and Matthew.  Matthew is discovering the world around him, underfoot and into everything.  He is already pulling up to his knees to reach, and tearing into his siblings stuff. (yesterday he ate a bed bath and beyond coupon that had been sitting at the edge of the coffee table... oops) Him eating things leads into the topic of his size! We discovered at his 6 month appointment that he is nearly as tall and heavy as Jack was at his 1st birthday!! What??! Granted Jack was a bit of a runt, or pip-squeak... but Matthew is ranking in in the 95%.
starting early with the academics
Little Miss looking exceptionally cute
Nona has become exceptionally close with Matthew.  We find her encouraging him to follow her, giving him toys, including him in her play schemes.  He thinks she is hysterical... but that eventually gives into annoyance once she has completely overwhelmed him ;)  Nona is also sitting down with me on my days off for our 'school'.  We are working thru some pre-k work books, spending extra time coloring, cutting, drawing, doing puzzles, reading etc.  Nona seems thrilled with the one on one time, and I appreciate feeling needed (seeing as Jack already informed me the other day that "Mom, you  don't know what you're talking about".... lovely)  It seems that Nona and Jack have flipped roles lately.  Nona being extra sweet and incredibly rule abiding... meanwhile Jack comes home from school in a state of physical and emotional fatigue- in turn he is acting a bit like a 13 year old girl.  Quite moody- a bit over reactive- we just have to hold on tight and hope that this wave too shall pass!

Friday, August 7, 2015

Dear Matthew- sorry your siblings are morons

Helloooo Mr. Turtle.  A game your sister likes to play with you...
Oh my dear Matthew. You are 6 months old tomorrow! Did you know we share birthdays in a way? My birthday is your half birthday (I'm sure I will have pointed this out to you every year... not to beat a dead horse).  Funny in a way- I have always teased how my nephews tried to steal my birthday as 4 of them were born within days of MY birthday.  Who knew that all along it may actually be my own baby who shares my birthday with me?!


SUPER Nona, Matthew and Jack!



I'm thankful that you are 6 months old tomorrow.  We've made it thru some of the most challenging days.  Remember the weeks of sleeping on the couch with you? Of course you don't... but I do.  Remember the nights of midnight blogging while you swung away and laughed at me in your swing? (I think I only imagined the laughing as you innocently refused to sleep.)  6 months already, and you are no longer an infant in my eyes.  You are becoming a big guy, and an even bigger joy.
this looks innocent enough, but really your brother might be pinching you here...
or thinking about yanking on your arm at any moment.
captain muscles showing off his planking skills
I think with every child I have joked at their first birthday that "we did it! we kept them alive a full year!"  well with you, this joke seems less funny... I'm not sure how man kind has survived all these years because as SMART as your siblings are... they can act like total morons around you.  I know they love you, they want to be around you all the time.  They ask to hold you, and they constantly try to play with you and entertain you.  BUT, they also jump off of you in the same manner that you would jump off a boulder.  They "roll" you across the floor in the same manner that you would flip a tire.  They seem to think that you would like to smell their feet, lick their toes, or have them sit on your face. I don't understand it.  I get mad. I yell at them, I explain to them that you don't actually LIKE this, that you just can't get away from them.  They inform me that "he is smiling!"  Which actually does worry me a little.. why are you smiling!?  Maybe this is normal for a third child.  I haven't really heard other mother's talk about it, so I feel like it is some great failure on my part.  But perhaps this is one of those unspoken things?  Well I'm breaking the silence!  I apologize to you for the inadequate care you are receiving.  I do try- and as I said, I'm grateful that we celebrate 6 months (and my 32 years) tomorrow.  Plus, I'm pretty sure you are going to grow up and be quite a bit bigger than either of your siblings anyhow.  You can sit on their faces then, you have my permission :)
That's right little man. Learn how to escape! Crawl Crawl!
Happy 1/2 Birthday little Matthew, and Happy Real Birthday to Me too.  Thanks for being a permanent distraction to my own birthday, and for giving us a little something extra to celebrate.
P.S. I promise I'll always share my cake with you Matthew T.  (that's saying a lot you know.)