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| Seeing the beauty of this picture- our family feeling so complete |
Here we are in the final few days of Matthew's "babyhood". He turns one on Monday. Yet for some reason I feel a bit numb to the whole situation. Typically birthdays hit me pretty hard, especially something as monumental as a first birthday. Perhaps I have developed some new coping/defense mechanism? Doubtful, really I think it is just that Matthew hasn't felt like a baby to me for some time. Particularly yesterday when we were at the public library and he scaled up a chair, onto a table and pulled a computer off crashing them both to the floor in a tangled heap. The sweet soft spoken librarian came rushing out concerned over baby Matthews well-being. I had no doubt he was fine- that boy is made of rubber and steal but the computer!??? Luckily for me the computer was fine as well. Just a bruise to the parenting ego- reminding me that watching 3 small kids and attempting to accomplish a task (such as selecting books from the library shelf thus diverting my direct attention from Matthew for more than 30 seconds) is never going to be as easy as I hope. It also reminded me that I do not have a baby anymore- he is a full on toddler!
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| I think he was sensing the seriousness of what was about to happen to him. LOL |
I have had a few ask me if we will be celebrating Matthews birthday this weekend. While yes, of course we will be celebrating, I plan to do it in a very low key manner. No parties, no decorations, no giant baby smash cake. As I type that some mommy guilt is starting to creep up on me. But I remind myself sometimes that the joy in a moment can be better found in the calm and quiet. I can better cherish Matthew making the time to sit alone with him in his room playing with his toys, or when he brings me his favorite book and backs his little tush up to sit in my lap. Trying to make some quiet mental memories of my last baby turning 1. I've told Adam that Matthew's first year has by far been the biggest blur. I think when life is so busy, it is hard to take the time to be present and soak in a moment. It isn't JUST Matthew in my life. Moments with him are tangled up with the memories of Jack and Nona- so it is harder for me to remember the simple moments and details of just Matthew. So as we approach these final few days, I thought I would take a moment to put some memories and details of Matthew down on paper- something for me to be thankful for down the road.
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| Toilet papering the house is just too fun and easy to quit |
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| Our car seats were starting to expire- safety first for baby #3 |
Matthew T Schwatken is a bundle of determination, wisdom, and survival skills. He makes sure that he gets the attention he deserves by demanding a significant amount of time in my arms. He loves to be held. He will happily ride around on my hip and observe as I do laundry, vacuum, cook, etc. If my arms and back tire out and I put him down, he will make his presence known by charging the vacuum cleaner (literally walking straight into my path and attempting to disarm me from the vacuum), or climbing into the dishwasher to unload it at lightning speed (he has also figured out how to open it by himself to unload the dirty dishes all over our kitchen floor), OR into the washing machine (he literally heaved his whole body into the washing machine when he was probably 8-9 months old?). If he feels left out of something, he makes sure to barge his way in - such as the time that he dove into the bathtub fully dressed to be with the kids when he was maybe 10 months old? Was he crying?? Ha, no- he did a somersault into the bathtub, sat up (fully dressed) and started playing. He has no fears. In fact he will stick his head under the running faucet in the tub because he enjoys the water rushing over his head. This winter when we got our 1 measly snowstorm (what you would call a dusting) we suited Matthew up and Adam shoved him off down the hill on a sled BY HIMSELF. He was almost 11 months old. Did he cry? Nope. He was wide eyed and smiling.
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your first time at the bowling alley. We spent 2 hours holding you back
from running down the lane after the pins |
He loves to sleep in my bed, he loves to sleep with Adam in the 'man chair', he naps on the full sized guest bed, but he hates to sleep in his own crib. We discovered that if we laid him on the full sized bed he would happily nap. Who does that with a baby!?- I'll tell you who, a desperate mother who will do anything for their baby to just TAKE A NAP! He fell off once or twice- and quickly wised up. He learned to crawl to the edge and wait, and just yesterday he independently spun his body around and slid down feet first. So he's got it now! He is our first child to ever sleep in our bed as a baby- the others were closer to 2 before they came up with the clever idea of getting in our bed. But not Matthew, he demands his time with us and what better way to get in those sweet cuddles than by kicking us in the back all night long? I can't imagine a more bonding experience.
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| keeping me company in our bed |
As most near one year olds, Matthew is a disaster at meals. Smashing food, smooshing it in his hair, feeding it to the floor, and generally having a hay day. He does seem open to trying most foods and I would not call him terribly picky -yet. Around me he still relies on nursing for the most part, but I know those days are numbered as well. He'll figure out those sippy cups and slowly rely on me less and less. I've wondered if he will be like Jack- and have to be weaned, or like NonaJane and just one day refuse me. Too early to tell. But one thing for sure is he is still the drooliest thing I've ever seen. He can soak a shirt within a few minutes. Still has 8 teeth... hasn't had any new ones for a few months? Seems he got all 8 between 6-9 months and then took a teething hiatus.
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| your favorite way to nap |
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| "Up Mom, UP" all day every day :) |
It may be too early to say, but it seems Matthew is going to be quite the talker. This kid babbles up a storm and seems to already have a few words under his belt. They aren't clear enough to be certain but we often swear we here words such as "that, this, up, out, go, etc." He has learned the routines around the house and makes sure not to be left out. Yesterday he was the first one to the front door attempting to reach the knob all ready to go to Meagan's house for the day- and when I put him in the car seat he grabbed the bottom portion of the buckle and held it up for me to buckle his straps in! So I'll call it now and say we have a baby genius on our hands. He has also developed a witty sense of humor, and will do anything to get a laugh from us. Such as stealing the diaper and running around naked while hollering at the top of his lungs and flapping the diaper around in the air. Another favorite activity of his is to barge into Jack and Nona's room after they have gone to bed and entertain them by purposefully 'falling down' only to get up, run in a circle, and 'fall down' again. The kids laugh hysterically at him and he emits so much joy it might literally be glowing from his ears. He has become particularly inquisitive of the hair clips in Nona's hair- waiting for just the right moment to snatch and yank it from her head... OR to wait and calculate the perfect moment to grab ahold of her necklace, pull it to it's outer limit before letting it snap painfully back to her neck. Oh he knows what he is doing, you can see him crouching down and calculating the movement. Scanning her eyes to see if she notices his plan before jumping into action.
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| too small this year buddy |
He has found a love for books, and cherishes a select few over the rest. He will demand that I read the same book over and over by repeatedly bringing the book back and thrusting it into my hands while plopping his cute little tushy into my lap. AND we are starting to see jealousy as well. If Nona is sitting on my lap he will rush over to sit too.. attempting to displace Nona at the same time.
Letting these moments spill from my memory, reliving the experiences... sometimes when I just take the time to be quiet it surprises me how many memories can flood my mind. I'm overwhelmed with gratitude, I have found myself smiling, at times with tears in my eyes as I type these memories that I can still grasp and relive in my mind. Now they are spelled out on paper for myself, and for Matthew. Something to hold onto and cherish of a year gone by too fast. The third baby I knew I so desperately wanted. A dream that I wouldn't let go of. I knew Matthew T was meant to be in our lives. Here he is in full action- and I love him. I absolutely, cherish, admire, and adore every wild hair on his head. His drooly grin, his giant hands and feet (he has always had hands and feet better suited for a 2 year old than a baby) his giant blue eyes, and his action packed soul. I'm so thankful for this past year. So as we move onto being a 1 year old, I'm happy. I feel content with where we are at, and I'm going to make a real effort at making quiet moments to be present. To put those memories away where I won't forget them.
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While it appears he is kissing the baby here... I wouldn't be so sure of his intentions.
He followed this action by repeatedly dropping her on her head. |
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| growing up country style |
I Love you Matthew T Schwatken. Happy early Birthday.
Matthew- oh you and your 2 year old self is just hilarious. You answer "yep!" to everything, and you're constantly doing something you shouldn't. You like to keep track of my car keys, and golf cart keys. You keep them in your pocket or hang them on the hook- but no worries you always know where they are. In all honestly I feel more confident with you keeping track of them than me. You ask to drive every time we go anywhere. You seem to be getting more understanding- accepting that you're too young and Mommy has to drive. The debate gets a little old for me, but seems important to you so I try to oblige. You find Dad's tools and try to take everything in the house apart. Everything you pick up is a sword or gun- and I do NOT know where you get this?! You're such a little MAN! You take things apart and your response to every demand is "Why?" You're also the most self-sufficient.. or sneaky... child we have. You use stools and chairs to climb and get your own snacks. One day you came in, got out a gallon bucket of ice cream from the freezer (heavy!) and scooped two bowls to share!(meaning you got out the bowls and spoons on your own!) When I came in you so proudly held out the bowls and cheered "icecreams!!!"
Jack. One of my favorite things about you right now, is that you remain my cuddliest kid. You love to sit on my lap, and hang on me. I can hear it in your voice that you miss me. You don't want to let go at night when I tuck you in- and I don't want to let go either. I'm so scared that soon you won't do this anymore, and that's a hard fear to face. Every once in awhile you still sneak into my room at night and curl up tight against my back. It makes my heart want to explode. You are getting braver and more and more confident- you do flips off the diving board! You proudly audition for plays and I'm not sure you even get nervous. Uh-oh STORY time! May we never forget the time you streaked naked thru the crowded theater to get to your change of clothes. The shrieks and laughter were unexpected to you- and this was the first time you experienced embarrassment. How my heart broke for you as we drove home and you cried- I knew the feeling was new to you. Your 7 year old heart and mind were racing with trying to understand this emotion. Adam laughed and blamed me for not teaching you more modesty at home. I blame the Root Beer that we let you have between shows. I think your mind and judgement were clouded from exhaustion and sugar! No matter the reason- you're innocence is what stands out to me from that night. And maybe also your laziness, why you didn't just put your costume back on when you realized you had forgot your change of clothes?? !
